Mayonnaise

Yes, mayo.  Good ol’ eggs and oil that goes great with bacon and tomatoes.  Why are we making mayo, you ask?  They sell that in every way shape and form… even at convenience stores.  That’s why precisely.  What you get in those cutie little jars and squeeze bottles does not make for good eatin’.  Let’s take a look:

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So in the interest of making all things as equal as possible, I wasted a couple bucks on the organic variety of commercial mayonnaise.  Sounds great, right?  It’s *organic*!
Yeah, not so much.  Let’s look at what’s in this jar:
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Organic soy oil.  Yay.  Granted, the organic soy oils are supposed to be hexane free, but it’s STILL a heat processed vegetable oil that is rancid long before it ever leaves the factory.  And it’s soy.  Which is a high in phytoestrogens.
Next, water, organic whole eggs, vinegar, egg yolks, salt.  Super.  All things that should go in mayonnaise.  All better options than the regular, conventional products they mirror as at least the chickens laying the eggs are eating organic gmo-free soy and corn.
But now we see… dried cane syrup.  Why in the world does mayonnaise need SUGAR??  Do we as Earthlings (I can’t even say Americans anymore as we’ve spread our ways to every corner of this round globe) *not* get enough sugar in everything else we stuff in our faces these days??
Lemon juice, great.  But what the hell is “natural flavor”??  Shouldn’t the ingredients you put in this jar already naturally taste like natural mayonnaise?  I have an entire spice cabinet full of flavors.  Like vanilla extract.  And lemon extract.  And almond extract.  I have never in all my days run across “mayonnaise extract.”  If anyone has some, let me know.  Sounds like an interesting addition to my stash 😉

So, let’s make some mayo.  With a food processor it takes only minutes.  With a whisk… much longer and you’ll feel it.

Ingredients:

1 egg
1 TBl lemon juice
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp mustard powder

1 C Coconut cooking oil

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Simply put everything EXCEPT the oil in the food processor

Measure out your one cup of oil.  The reason I use and recommend this oil is because:  a) it’s neutral/no taste and b)  no hexane in it’s production.  It’s basically MCT oil.  If it were up to me, I’d really, really, really like to use unrefined extra virgin coconut oil, but I’ve done that.  Did not work out well.  Coconut oil is very saturated and hardens up at a very low temp.  I’ve also tried making this with a combo of sesame oil, avocado oil, and coconut oil.  Did not like.  Tried it with olive oil — did you know olive oil is a very overpowering flavor?  It is.  Tried it with avocado oil.  Avocado oil in mayo actually has a taste too.  And makes your mayo green (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing…), but the *taste*.
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If you’re using a food processor, fold up a paper towel and cover the top hole as much as possible — this stuff will fling out everywhere.  If your processor has a small liquid adding hole, well, I’m jealous.  Turn on the processor.
Very slowly drizzle the oil into the egg/spice mixture until what was in your measuring cup is now in the food processor.  You have just made an emulsification.  Congrats.
I usually take the lid off at this point, scrape down the sides, replace the lid and give it another quick spin.
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This is what you’ll be looking at.
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Jar it up, refrigerate, and use as you would with store-purchased mayonnaise.

To recap:
1)  Once again, laziness rules with the food processor.
2)  You have complete control over what goes in your food if you make it yourself.  Want chipotle mayo?  Add a sprinkle or two chipotle powder in with the spices.  Flavor to your heart’s content.  Use pastured eggs on a regular basis?  Well, there ya go.  Now you get the same benefits from those eggs in your condiment.
3)  …  sorry, the first 2 are all I have on this one.

Quick instructions:

Add egg, lemon juice, salt, pepper, and ground mustard to your food processor.  Cover your pour in hole as much as possible to prevent blow back all over your cabinets.  Measure out 1 C coconut cooking oil.  Turn on food processor.  Slowly drizzle your oil into the egg mixture until the measuring cup is empty.  Turn off processor.  Scrape down sides.  Put top back on and give it one more quick spin.  Jar and refrigerate.

If you are whisking:

My condolences.  But do the exact same as above, except you will BE the food processor.  Just make sure to whisk together the eggs, lemon juice, and spices first and then slowly drizzle in the oil until you have an emulsification.  Then go rest your arm.

Now go make some bacon and enjoy!!

 

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